Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!

Today, the spouse turn 34.
The man that I have been married to for the past 6 years and have been dating since I turned 18 years old.
We have been together over the past 15 years and I really dont think I can ask for anything more.
He has given up so much for me. His education, his family, his wealth and he has never complained or mentioned a word of regret.
Sometimes, I dont think I am good enough for him. I wish that I can give him more and be more than just a wife. He had slogged for our family, he had sacrificed his time and his privacy just so that others in our family will feel more comfortable and yet he had never even utter a word of displeasure.
He has never questioned as to why I needed that extra $200 and just give it to me because he trusted me. And if my parents ever mention that they are broke, he would not hesitate to give a little more from his pocket even though that means he may not have a decent lunch at work that day.
For me, my husband gave up his relationship with his dad. He gave up the comfort of living in a big house, of bringing back a huge pay-packet and of travelling whenever he has the time. He had told me that it was not a loss as whatever he got from that was much more precious than money can buy.
He had us as a family and he told us that he would never trade that or anything else.
I wish I can make his life more comfortable and give him many times more than he had given us.
I thank God everyday for a man as wonderful as him.
Happy Birthday Sweetheart!!
May you live to a ripe old age and may we be forever in love.

Been around...

Gosh! It's been days since I last updated the blog. Had so many things happening but so little time. Too many things to do at work that I hardly have time to update my blog.
Was at Yahya's (my nephew) school last Thursday for the orientation. Boy was I impressed. The school was huge!! The student leaders were polite and friendly and the teachers were helpful. It's a Catholic school with some Catholic values but they do not impose this on the non-Catholics and that point was stressed during the orientation by the Vice Principal. My nephew was very happy because he was one of the 20 that was selected into the school from a non-affiliated schools. I was like "WOW"!! The books were plenty costing us a cool $300 and the uniform came up to another $100. He has to wear a tie to school during assembly and he was feeling all matured and grown-up about it. It's like "Woaaa!! Welcome to working world!!" Hehe.

Anyways, on Christmas morning on my way to work, (yes, was working on Christmas Day) I saw a guy sprawled on the stone table under my block. He was knocked out, totally drunk and wet. He had pissed in his pants and there was a puddle of pee on the floor. I had my handphone with me and was so tempted to take a pic and circulate it in the internet but hey, let's not be mean here. Well, he reeked of alcohol and urine and God knows what's that gooey greenish stuff dribbling from his mouth down onto the stone bench and on the floor. Would love to be around when he woke up from his deep slumber but alas, work was calling.
Oh, by the way, I am so in love with Jin's blog. Hehe, Jin, I am going to "steal" some ideas from there. Hope you dont mind.
By the way, I know it's really late to wish everyone a Merry Christmas but I know it's not too late to say Happy Holiday and Happy New Year!!

Good News!!

Yaaay!! I am so happy. My nephew got into his first choice secondary school and that is St Patricks' School. I'll be on half day leave tomorrow to accompany him to the school orientation. We'd be lugging books and uniform and I am so excited.
When I asked him how he feel about it. He said he's happy as long as I am happy. Awwww....so sweet. So why St Pats? Because I want him to get something out of his five years in that secondary school. St Pats is known to excel in English and if that is what he can get after that five years, I am one happy auntie. At least, with good grades in English, he can branch into so many areas in the future.
Anyway, let us all just pray that St Pats canteen sells Western Food and they've got real cold waters sprouting from their water coolers. Hee hee...

The Last Breath

Brad recently posted a song Ya'Muallim by Sami Yusuf in his blog. Finally Brad, I managed to listen to that song last night and believe me, I love it to bits. However, I do not find it as hair-raising and compelling as the song The Last Breath sung by Ahmed Bukhatir. They had a video which I feel is quite humbling and quite scary. It started off with the scene of the sudden death of the footballer, Miklos Feher, during a match, followed by some graphics that could be quite intimidating.
Sadly, I cant seem to find the link to the video anymore. If you guys are interested to listen to the song, click on the link I provided and scroll down till you see The Last Breath. You need to download real player or windows media player for this.
Let me know what you think once you listen to the song.

Should I Blame Troy??

Been hectic over the past few days. The 3 kids were sick, still are but I dont know where they get the energy to irritate the hell out of me.
For one, Naseer had fever with some rash sprouting all round his eyes and nose. I was scared at first, thinking it's either the hand, foot or mouth disease or chicken pox but it was nothing really, just some rashes.
Then Feroz had high temperature from Sunday morning and the next day, he broke out in tiny rashes all over his body. Zaza too had fever and flu. Her nose is all runny and she's Rudolph lookalike right now.
But, but, they could still jumped and ran and even tried killing one another despite the fever and feeling so sick.
I was quite under the weather myself and feeling so grumpy and frustrated.
Yesterday, Feroz bit Zaza's arm and took a huge racing car (a remote controlled one) and smashed it on her head. Thank God, it was not a serious injury. Then Zaza came complaining to me and she was so mad, so she scratched him on his face and poked his head with a pen, causing him to bleed. Naseer, who was trying to be the referee, had his finger bitten by Feroz and his cheek scratched by Zaza in the scuffle.
I was just trying to break the fight but gave up half way, so I ran to the room and took a cane and all dispersed and hid under the dining table. All three!!
So, then I was their enemy and I could hear whispers from under the table, Naseer saying like "Better not go out there. I think Mommy had become like Achilles when he wanted to kill Hector."
Yup, over the 3 days when they were home away from school, they were watching Troy on the vcd, over and over again.
KIDS!!

Trolls!!

I was just over at Desmond's blog and was quite overwhelmed by the abuse he was getting from a particular lurker, or maybe even an acquaintance.
I feel kind of pissed that no respect whatsoever is practised by the visitor. There is such a thing as Netiquette, mind you, and if you don't like what was written, then take a slow walk somewhere else. As adults, we should agree to disagree. No?
I remembered the same hit happened to a friend's blog, not long ago. Jin, do you remember? Causing quite a riot and a lot of tears and heart pain and she had to pull it down temporarily because she was badly affected by it all. That, initially put off my idea of ever having a blog.
Well, you just ask yourself if you are able to take all the nonsense that may come along with it. A blog is like a window to your heart and some people out there may just feel that your post are pretentious and they dont like what you like and you get bombarded. I just feel that it's all in the mind.
You can get affected by what others write on their blog. May it be about that zit on her nose that she was complaining about and you went, "God, it's just a zit, what the hell is she freaking out for?" because you have like a dozen zits sitting on your face. Or you just hate it because that someone call "all Muslims terrorist". But hey, can you blame that person when some irresponsible Muslims decide to act like God and take matters into their own hands.
I just feel like SHIT at times when I read self-opinionated blogs but I cant blame that person for feeling that way. None of us has the same mindset and life would be way too boring if all think alike.
So, my take is, take everything with a pinch of salt. You wanna live longer and age slower, smile always. It takes lesser muscles to smile than to frown. And please dont waste time dropping bombs on blogs. It's not worth your time and really, you dont get anything out of it. Just more white hairs and wrinkles, thinking of what other negative words you could use to trigger that wrath in a person.
Spend more time to make peace and make babies, ok.
Cheers!!

Sleepless in Seattle? No?

Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

Seattle
Your dark exterior masks a caffeine driven activism. You'll take up a cause and you'll get ugly to advance it.

He touched my heart!!

Today on the way to work in the train, a young man looked at me and approached me. He asked if I was Zahra and if I remembered him. I looked at him and thought to myself "Couldnt have dated him before?! He's way too young."
Then, he said that he was so and so and that I used to tutor him. Then I remembered. He was a boy I used to tutor many years back. He was in extended 8 and labelled as hopeless because his English was pathetic and he was a very slow learner.
Before I tutored this boy, his mom told me about his condition. He was very slow and has a mentality of a child 4yrs younger than his actual age. I could not remember the actual term for it, it's been so long.
So anyway, I took on the job because I really liked the mom and sympathised her.
When I first met this boy, I thought that it was going to be so difficult. He could not even say a simple sentence in English, much less write them down. Even his Malay, Maths and Science were really bad. I sort of regretted agreeing to tutor him but I could not break my promise.
So I continued and I realised that his only problem was he was slow, that's all. He had the passion, he was so hardworking and he was willing to learn and improve himself.
So I drilled him. I spent 3 times a week with him, In and out of the house. I brought him to the library, to plays by Act 3 and to parks to improve his English and his Science. I thought to myself, this boy was not a hopeless case. He himself put in tremendous effort. All projects and homeworks that I gave him he completed in time.
He had wanted to be a pilot, so I brought him to the airport to see the planes. We studied and played games at the viewing gallery. I remembered how happy he was.
For one whole year, I continued and he started improving. Initially, the improvement was very slow. Then it picked up and when his prelims came, I spent 4 times a week with him. He passed all subjects, scoring A for Malay, B for Maths but C for English and Science. He was not happy, so he doubled his effort. I continued helping him and he developed this wonderful habit of reading every article in the newspaper daily.
He made it easier for me. I just guided and helped him along the way, he was the one who slogged and put in all effort.
When his PSLE came, he called me early in the morning and told me that he was scared, I told him to concentrate and to think of the planes in the airport waiting for him.
He laughed.
He passed his PSLE and scored A for both Malay and Maths and B for English and Science. He did not do very well, but he improved greatly. I was the happiest.
But after that, I could not teach him anymore because I did not think I could handle the secondary level.
We lost contact and I actually forgot all about him.
Today, we had a short conversation and I asked him what he was doing. He looked at me, eyes brimming with tears and said "I am training to be a pilot with SIA."
I was dumbfounded and I almost cried. I said, "See! I told you you can do it!! You are so hardworking, you will shine!!."
And he said something that touched me , "It's because of your faith. Because you believed in me and you did not give up. All these years, it was you who pushed me and nobody else. I did it for myself because you knew that I am not a hopeless case. I had looked for you to thank you but I did not know how to get in touch with you. So, now, let me tell you. Thank you so much. If it wasnt for you, I would not have been where I am today."
My tears rolled down my cheek. I did not know I touched him so much.
In between tears I said "It's you who decides for yourself what you wanna be. Even if I had drilled you the way I did, if you were not interested, you would not be what you are now. I am so happy for you."
Needless to say, we attracted a few people's attention.
I am so proud of him. I am so glad that I did not give up halfway.

Zaza's definitions.

My 2 year old daughter, Zaza, played a little game with me yesterday afternoon. I would ask her simple questions like "What is a car?" or "What is a spoon?" and she would answer me. She gave me short answers, mostly describing the word, or she would show an action for that word.
Here is a list of my questions and her definitions.

What is a pen? - Me draw on paper.
What are socks? - Me wear on me feet.
What is ice? - There! (pointed to her eyes)
What is a book? - Me read book.
What is a towel? - Me wipe me body.
What is a plate? - Me eat rice on plate.
What is water? - Me drink.
What is a television? - Me watch Hi-5.
What is bread? - Me eat for breakfast.
What is computer? - Me see smiley face
What is umbrella? -uhmmmm, me no no (me dont know), me no use um-bel-la ( me dont use umbrella).
What is a chair? - Me sit on chair.
What is the moon? - Up there in the sky.
What is light? - Me on and off.
What is love? - Me love Mommy so much.
What is a kiss? - Muaccckss (blowing a kiss in the air)
What is a hug? - Me hug Mommy (and she hugged me tightly)
But I love this answer the most.... What is a hanger? - Me beat Feroz with hanger.
Dont you just love that?!! LOL!!

Dying....

I always bump into an old lady on my way to work. She's really old, maybe in her late nineties but she's healthy and definitely alert. She walks around in a samsui top and black pants and will say hello to everyone who passes her.
I like her. She is friendly and always gives me a big smile and wishes me well. She has her hair tied up in a bun and at times if you engage her in a conversation, you will be impressed by her worldly knowledge. This is not just an ordinary old lady. She can talk to you about anything under the sun from the Ku Klux Klan to the latest talk show in town, the Singapore Idol. I remembered how she was ranting about if John Kennedy had lived, America would not be in such a sorry state under Bush who she feels has nothing up there.
She also likes to complain about her daughter in law. How she hates staying home because all her daughter in law does is shout at the kids. She also claims that her daughter in law does not cook for her, so she always end up cooking for herself or buying her own food. Pitiful? I dont think so. She's smart. I have seen other people buying food for her. So, she does get some freebies just by hanging around under the block.
Yesterday, I sat and chatted with her since I had some time. We talked as usual and I always ask if she was fine, like I always do. Her usual answer is "I am fine, See, I am here. I am not dead yet." But yesterday she told me that she was fine but she was afraid to die. Her exact words, "I dont ever want to die. I am scared. I dont want to meet the creator. I want to live forever. I dont care even if I cant walk or talk. I just dont want to die. I will fight for my life even if my days are drawing near." Her eyes were full of fear.
I was silent for a while. Isnt dying part and parcel of life? If your time is up, how can you fight that? She's so old and looks so secure. Could it be that her fear for dying is egging her to fight and live longer?
I guess , deep down inside all of us has that fear. Who's not afraid of dying? Will most of us accept our fate and go when the time comes? Will we fight like her? Will we be so vocal and let the fear be known and be shown?
I guess we only know when our time is almost up. But what if we die in a freak accident, something unpredictable? Well, when you have to go, you have to go. You cant defy God can you?

Water Coolers and Western Food!!

I was on leave today because I wanted to bring my nephew on "school tours". Well, he had just gotten his PSLE (Primary School Leaving Examination) results and will be posted to a secondary school next year.
We were given 6 options and since the schools were my choice, he wanted to see for himself how these schools are like.
I have selected schools where there is a direct bus from our place or it's just within walking distant from the train station. Based on my research, most of these schools have value added qualities whereby there are proven track records of improvement in their teaching method and the number of passes over the past years have improved.
Ok, here we go.
I was initially turned off by the first school we viewed. The paint was peeling and the grass was not mowed from god knows when. On top of that, it is all over the place. They have buildings everywhere and the structure is messy and hair-raising. However, I noticed that it was bustling with school activities despite it being the school holidays and almost all notice boards are up to date and well kept, showing that they have an active curriculur programmes. It also boasts a vast improvement in their pass rate. From a mere 45.6% in the year 1995 to an 85% in 1998. I was impressed. Oh, by the way, it was the only school that gave us a souvenir for taking the trouble to come down and view the school.
I did not feel at home in the second school. It is all cramped up in a small plot of land and the staff was not very interested when we told them we were there to just tour around. Though it is a school with a higher aggregate and better ranking, it does not leave any positive impression on me at all. Moreover, I was quite wide-eyed over the picture of the Principal. She looks, errr, how shall I put it? Too healthy?
The third school looks new and inviting. We went into an empty office to seek for permission and was finally met by the Vice Principal himself. I took an immediate liking to him. Well, this is the only school we went that has directions showing where's the lab, the technical building, etc. It's canteen is huge and they've got quite a variety of food. The classrooms are in nice proper order and mostly well decorated. I like this school. I even had a chance to speak to one of the stall operator who told me that the Principal is a wonderful man who is very involved with the students. She was full of praise for him and told me that he is a dedicated man who is very committed and friendly to everyone, from teachers to the guy who takes out the trash. I wished that I had met him.
The last school was the best looking of the lot. Maybe because it was the newest and has a very simple, clean concept. It also chooses bright colours making everything looks fresh and neat. My nephew simply loved their big field and 2 large basketball court and they have beautiful spectator steps.
We missed out on 2 schools because it was already late and I had to fetch my boys from school. On the way in the bus, I asked my nephew which school did he prefer. He told me that even though the first school looks a little old and dilapidated, he likes it the best. I was pleased because I feel that he will benefit most from this school. So I told him :
"Why did you choose that school? Is it because you were impressed by their value added programmes that has shown tremendous success and improved their pass rate?"
His answer:
"Err, maybe. But you should have tried their water cooler. It has the coldest water that I've ever tasted and they are the only one that sells Western food in the canteen."
Huh?.....................I give up.