I've been trying desperately to keep up blogging. I know, I need to be consistent and blog something each day but by the time I have the time to blog, I dont know what to write, or whatever I need to write is just too personal for all to read.

I have been working with the spouse for more than a week now. I feel so redundant. Father in law is in the office so movements are quite restrictive. The spouse on the other hand, is not an easy person to work with. This is the other side of him I failed to grasp and understand. Very rigid, military. He is a no-nonsense guy but he is focused and ambitious. I think he's got great ideas but too assertive and gung-ho. Someone that may get fired by Donald Trump, after say, 5 episodes of The Apprentice.

Anyway, I am coping though at times, I do get a little worn but I would like to be an asset to this man, not a liability , so I am trying my best to read up a bit here and there on what I need to know to contribute positively to this man over here.

Maybe, Elaine can give me some tips?

Let's all fight the flu bug!

All the 4 kids are sick. Sigh.

The spouse blamed it on me. Said something like I did not separate them and let them play together but how big is our house? He did not realise that.

Naseer is coughing like a barking dog. Feroz is down with fever but he is still so active. Zahra has high fever and no appetite. Farah is down with fever, blocked nose and is coughing quite badly too.

Brought Farah to the doctor earlier in the morning. Zahra refused to go and Feroz was still asleep. Dr told me that it was unnecessary to bring the other two. I just have to troubleshoot at home with the same medication that he gave Naseer and Farah.

The spouse is so grouchy with a capital G. He mumbled something about learning his lesson and should have employed and unmarried woman with no kids. I counterfight that with him having to pay for marriage and maternity leave for these people, on top of their monthly pay. I have agreed to work with minimum pay and to absorb all his nonsensical mood. I know that he is not an easy person to work with, impatient when faced with a slow coach like me.

Ultimately, this is just part and parcel of juggling my time. I cant possibly leave 4 sick children at home and he knows that too. Even if I had still been working for the mosque, I knew that I would have taken leave, just that it's less of a hassle and I dont have to face my boss directly on the face when telling her that my kids were sick.

The spouse managed a short laughter and it was good to hear his voice on the phone asking about the kids' health.

Even as I typed this, I can hear Naseer coughing away and Feroz as usual, singing, or rather screaming his lungs out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NASEER!!!

Today, my vagina baby turns 6.
I was all emotional this morning when I saw him sleeping. He is 6 years old. It felt like only yesterday when I cradled him in my arms after he was delivered.
Such a joy to my life. A happy baby and now a mature boy.

He is still sick. So, he missed his celebration in school but his principal was so kind as to allow him to go to school for a while just so that he could cut his cake and his friends could sing him a birthday song. I could see how happy he was, eben if it was for a minute. Simple pleasure in life and only kids know how to appreciate things like this. And nothing made me happier than to see him so happy.

We are having another small celebration later when the spouse is back. And Naseer told me that since he is still coughing, he cant eat the cake and if I can keep some for him till he is better. I told him that as soon as he is better, I'd get him another cake and he goes, "Wow Mommy thanks! That's really nice of you."

Awwww....isnt he sweet.

My Mature Lil' Man!!

Naseer will be 6 this Thursday. Yup, my Vagina Baby is growing up.
He is all excited and had requested to celebrate in school with cake and goody bags.

So, yesterday, after sending him and Feroz off to school, the girls, my niece and my mom's helper went to Eastpoint to grab some stuff for the goody bags and to Tampines Mall to order his cake. We bought 2, one for school and one for home. He knew that I was going to order his cake and he had told me specifically which one he wanted.

However, after coming back from school, he complained of dizziness and tummy ache. I knew that he would come down with fever and true enough by the time I reached home last night, he was burning. I fed him paracetamol and gave him some water to drink. He was a good boy. He did not complain, just took his medication and went to bed.

In bed, we talked a bit and then I told him to sleep if he wants to get better faster. He then asked me what if he is still sick on Thursday. I assured him that he will get well in time to celebrate his birthday of he takes his medication and rest well. And then, my boy told me.
"It's ok Mummy. If I still dont get well by Thursday, you just bring the cake and the goody bags to school for my classmates to eat. Then, you just ask teacher to cut me a small slice of the cake and bring it home for me."

Awww..I felt so blessed. He did not insist on going to school to celebrate his birthday knowing that he was unwell and he was fine about missing the celebration in school. And I knew how much this meant to him coz he's been talking about it for weeks now.

I just pray hard that he'll get well enough to celebrate and enjoy his birthday with his friends. My lil man deserve a big fat present for his birthday!!

Dont Sweat The Small Stuff

I was supposed to start work today. Kind of looking forward to it but then my mom decided that she would go for her KL trip with my her together with my dad to attend a show invitation.

I was not too happy with her decision. Mainly because I have delayed starting work for 2 weeks to accommodate to her making these trips. I think it's really unfair for the spouse who has too much things in his hands and eagerly waiting for me to start to relieve his burden. At the same time, he had made a few appointments for me these few days. He had to reschedule the appointments and other things as well.

My mom knew that I was upset. I had confirmed with her again and again last Saturday, when she was still in Malacca, that I was starting work today and I needed her back home to help with the kids. I also checked with her if she was going for her KL trip and she assured me that she was not.

She came back home yesterday evening, received a few calls from her friends who were going along for the trip and she just confirmed that she and dad were coming as well. Right there in front of my eyes when I had already told her I was starting work today. I then sort of confronted her and she was like, "Aaah, how could I miss it? They've been calling and calling" blah, blah, blah.

I called the spouse who was evidently upset but very diplomatic about it. They are my parents after all and despite all the work waiting to be done, I should just accept that I cant start work today since I am not comfortable about leaving all 4 kids with the helper.

Well, I have a choice. I can go on and on about how upset I am, how they have inadvertently upset the spouse's schedule, how irresponsible of them to just go ahead despite confirming with me that they were not going OR...
I could just say, it's just 2 days and they'll be back by Thursday, so I can still start work on Friday and everyone will be happy.

I choose the latter because blood is thicker than water and...naaah..no big deal, there are greater worries in the world out there.
Dont sweat the small stuff and your life will be better.

Vagina Baby

The spouse and I have special terms for our kids. Naseer is called Vagina Baby because I delivered him naturally. Feroz is Premature Baby for that simple reason, Zahra is Grumpy Baby coz that was the first word my gynae used to describe as soon as Zahra was pulled out from my tummy and shown to me (yup, she looked so grumpy and till today she is one grumpy little girl) and Farah is Cerclage Baby.

These terms are often used between the 2 of us if we want to talk about the kids without them knowing that we are talking about them. But somehow, Naseer sort of figured out who was who and he actually surprised us last Saturday.

So we were in a cab on the way to the in laws when we were just talking about how Naseer, who is quite musically inclined, used to sing to taxi drivers songs whenever we took cabs when he was a toddler. Once, he even sang the full version of Moon River to a taxi driver and the cab driver was so amazed coz he was barely 2 years old then, that we got a 50% discount for that trip. Then we were going on and on about all the other songs that he had sung.
Feroz, who was listening to the conversation asked Naseer then,
"How come you are so clever? How come you can sing the songs? I cannot remember, you know?"
"Because you are a premature baby. You stayed in the hospital so long and you are so small and slow. That's why you cannot remember the songs like me."
"Eh...I am not slow. I can read what.And I can sing too"
"Yeah, but you are still premature right. Now, you try to sing a full song like me. Try to sing Brother Bear's song. You remember the lyrics? No right?"
Feroz kept quiet. Then Zahra started.
"But I can sing right Naseer?"
"Yeah, you can. You can sing simple songs like Twinkle twinkle little star, Naughty pussycat. If Brother Bear, I think a bit difficult for you."
Then Zahra asked, "How come you can sing so well? You remember everything."
"Because I am a VAGINA BABY. VAGINA BABY can remember a lot of things. VAGINA BABY did not stay in the hospital so long. Not like Feroz who is a PREMATURE BABY but he is still quite clever, he can write and read. And not like you, GRUMPY BABY, this cannot, that cannot, everytime know how to cry only. Right mummy?"

My jaw dropped and my eyes looked at the driver's rearview mirror. The driver was looking at me with his mouth wide open.

The spouse was still cool and said. "No, you got it wrong, you are a GENIUS BABY, that's why you can sing and remember songs well."
"Huh? What GENIUS BABY? You think I dont know you and mummy always call me VAGINA BABY because I come out from mummy's vagina. I am the only one that come out from there right. The rest all dr must cut mommies' tummy."

I was so embarrassed, just felt like asking the taxi driver to stop and alight there. The spouse looked at me and started laughing.

As soon as we reached the in laws, I brought Naseer aside and told him not to mention that term in front of others ever again. He asked why and I just mumbled something like these are special terms amongst us and others are not supposed to know about it. Then I asked him, "By the way, you know where is the vagina?"
"Of course." he answered.
"So, which part is it?"
"There." and he pointed to the navel.

Phew...at least I can heave a sigh of relief.

Butterflies!!

When I feel nervous, I get these horrible churn in my tummy and then I feel like I want to puke and pass out. I am feeling this way now.
I am so nervous. I'll be starting my new job next Monday and I just feel so sick to the pit of my tummy that I think I need to squat and puke.

The last time I had this was when I was wheeled into the OT to have my cerclage done for Farah. I puked while waiting for the procedure.

Sigh...after almost 8 years of marriage, I dont believe that I still feel intimidated by my future Senior Director, my father in law.

Usher the New Year with ........Memory Loss!!!!!

I am starting to lose my memory.
Like right now, for example, I realised that I have not updated my blog for weeks. I thought my last update was a few days ago till I looked at the date and realised that it was updated 3 weeks ago.
Then, today, I found out I misplaced the kids (all 4 kids) birth certificates. Misplaced is not the word. After searching and turning the whole cupboard upside down for 3 hours, I sadly resigned to the fact that I have lost them. I just dont know where I last placed them. All I knew was that I had them all kept in a brown envelope. That's all. Thankfully it is not very expensive to get the birth extracts. $30 to be exact and the spouse had confirmed that the $120 will be deducted from my first pay-check. Yeah...right, I'll put it on claim.

That brings me to another memory loss. Last Saturday was my last day at work and on Wednesday morning, I got up early to prepare for work. Yeah, I dragged myself out of bed and walked to the balcony t take my towel. Then, I bathed and I walked back inside the room to take my clothes out for ironing till our helper asked me, "Where are you going?"
"Work."
"I thought you resigned."
"Yeah, I did."...then wide-eyed.."YEAH! I RESIGNED AND LAST SATURDAY WAS MY LAST DAY!! SHIT MAN!!"
So, I forgot that I am now quite unemployed.

What's with all these memory loss?

I confided in a good friend and she was of no help. She suggested that I start doing good deeds as of now. Someone she knew lost her memory and two weeks later that person died. Thank you very much.

Really. No joke. But I am still unsatisfied. Tomorrow, I will turn my dad's room upside down. I need to look for the birth certificates.

Where's this Jin? Maybe, she can help?